Where art tho Romeo?

        *Sigh* Where Oh where are you Romeo?  Have you ever thought that?  Coming close to eleven years since waiting for my future husband, I'm only twenty-three, but that sounds like a long time.  

         About two weeks ago I was really feeling down in the depths about waiting for my future husband.  I was having it all out at God.  We live on farmland now so it's nice to go in the field and talk to God...or yell at him.  Yeah, I was screaming, crying, stomping the ground, punching the air. It was an all out fight.  I'm sure it was no where close to when Jacob wrestled with God.  

         I calmed down and I went into our barn. I talked with God quietly, discussing with him how I truly felt about waiting and waiting, and my fear that I'll be getting married when I'm a lot older.  One of my desires is to marry when I'm young. I want to be able to have children.  I've "reminded" God of that desire numerous times. 

          It wasn't until a couple days later that God told me to let that fear go.  Letting go of my white-knuckled grip was hard. Then God told me this.

                   Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

                                                                                                                Hebrews 11:1

          I am at peace again! For those of you who are waiting just like me; it's okay.  Now Juliettes, listen up! Don't just sit on the balcony and weep for your prince in shining armor. Reach out to other Juliettes who are lost and need the love of our King and Savior. In this time don't sit ideally by twiddling your thumbs but seek out what God has planed for your single years.       

Here you go God

                    Why is it that when we're done setting aside the money we'll use for our plans, after we're satisfied with how we spent our time,  then we give God what's left?  Is there something wrong with that picture?

                 When you bring blind animals for sacrifice, is that not wrong?  When you sacrifice crippled or diseased animals, is that not wrong?  Try offering them to your Governor!  Would he be pleased with you?  Would he accept you? Says the Lord Almighty.
                                                                                                                              Malachi 1:8 

                Naturally we are not thoughtful of others.  Even if we do think of others out of our sinfulness we think of how we can get something out of it.  It always has to come back to us.  How does God feel about that?  Does that make him angry, jealous or sad? 

                                                          Really?!!

                First off, God is angry at the audacity we have and the arrogance it takes to truly think that because God doesn't need anything, then His demand must be more of a guideline.  

               Second, he's jealous that we are giving ourselves over to an object or person wholeheartedly but then realize out of regret that we didn't pray or read our Bible that day so it's more guilt time then quality time.

             Third,  it fills him with grief and sadness.  It's not because he's lonely but more because he wants us to get to know him and he wants to share himself with us on a more intimate level.  

                      When I fed them they were satisfied; when they were satisfied they became proud; then they forgot me.
                                         Hosea 13:6

              Really?! Really?!!!  How can people be so self righteous and snub their nose at God once they have everything they want and their life is going "their way."  Oh, he he he....that's me too.  

              Sadly the reality is all of us are prone to becoming like that.  How do we keep from that path?  How can we strive closer to God and actually desire to be with him, to give him our best and enjoy his company?

                                    Give me a chance

                    Now Abel kept flocks and, Cain worked the soil.  In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the first born of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor.
                                                                                                        Genesis 4:2-5

                Well, Cain gave some of his fruit...whats the big deal?  He brought God something, isn't that enough?   

                It's not the stuff that matters. What really matters is where your heart is.   Was Cain excited to give his fruit to God?  Now get this.  It says over time Cain gave God some of the fruits of his soil.  Then,  Abel brought some of the fat from the first born of his flock.  Cain brought his offering...eventually.  But Abel brought his offering right away.  

               Have you ever done that?  
                     " Come on do I have to?  Wait until next week.  I'll see what I have left."

              Why can't we do this?
                      "Thank you for providing this for me.  Take this portion and may your will be done."

           It doesn't have to go that way precisely but you get the idea.  Be honest with God.  Tell him where you are.  At first it will be hard giving up your time, money or whatever else to God. But over time it gets easier if you're committed.  The biggest thing is, if you truly desire for God to change your heart on that subject, he will.  Even praying, asking him to change your heart is a beautiful thing.

           Give God a chance; because he gave you one through his son.  

Don't talk about it

     
                     All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return.
                                                                                                                     Ecclesiastes 3:20

                           I have to be honest.  I hate talking about death.  I hate reading about it and listening to things about it.  If you are the same please don't stop reading.  Bear with me.  This could help you accept it with peace.

                           Whenever I heard of death I would brush it out of my mind not willing or wanting to think about it.  I grew arrogant about death.  For some reason I thought I wouldn't have to face death if I didn't face the reality of it. 

                                          ...A time to be born and a time to die,...
                                                                                                Ecclesiastes 3:2

                       The thought of leaving this earth freaked me out because I couldn't imagine leaving all my things (sad but true. I'm so embarrassed to admit), I couldn't imagine leaving my family (or them leaving me), and last; I hate to think of the world going on without me.  Like I never existed.  It's so strange how death is the most natural thing in the world and yet, the most unnatural.

                      What really got my attention was on July 29th of this year my sister's cat Lacy passed away suddenly.  It hit all of us like a ton of bricks.  Her health went downhill literally in a matter of 14 hours.  Then on Aug 9th we had to put our elderly 19-year-old cat down.  When I could have been overwhelmed by all this death I felt a clarity.

                                      ...A time to mourn and a time to dance,...  
                                                                                             Ecclesiastes 3:4

                     I began a journey with God to face death and look to Heaven.  What helped me a lot was reading Francis Chan's Crazy Love.  That book was crazy good!!  He is so thoughtful  and aware of God and the spiritual.  He knows how to be blunt and gentle.  There was one chapter where he was talking about death.  That was the first time I didn't run.  I stood my ground, held God's  hand (until my spiritual knuckles were white) and kept myself from screaming with terror. It took lots of hyperventilating, tears and despair.  Then God came in.

                                       For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
                                                                                        John 3:16

                    God reminded me that this body will die but my soul is going to live!  I'm going to still be alive but even better.  I'm going to be able to see God and be able to hug him and talk to him and more!! I have so much good to look forward to.  Now, death isn't so scary.  It still kind of creeps me out but; there is hope. I can dance and sing knowing that Jesus has defeated death for me and you! We no longer need to be afraid of it. We have hope.