Who I Am

                   

                    I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
                                                         Psalm 139: 14

                                If you were to describe yourself with one word. What would it be? Sarcastic? Funny? Mean? Annoying? Antsy? Serious?
    
                               You can't think of one? Hmm. Who are you then?

          There's more to me then you think!

      Has someone ever labeled you before? Were you or are you forever perceived to be that certain woman? Mother? Sister or daughter? Sometimes family or friends or even strangers may refer to you as ____ and they may mean it in a light hearted way.  But, it could cut deep. 

            Yesterday I was watching Call the Midwife. It's a British T.V. series that me and my Mom and sisters thoroughly enjoy watching. Trixie, one of the midwives working at Nanatis house in the lower end of London, was talking to a colleague/friend.  Her friend jokingly referred to Trixie's time off in her bedroom as "Trixie's bar." Her friend laughed and told her that it was all in good fun. Trixie on the other hand was deeply troubled by it. It ended up bringing her to question her drinking habits and seek help from one of the nuns there. The thing is, labeling people with one or two word phrases in this one dimensional way is wrong! But labeling yourself is worse.

               Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 
                                                                                                                   Psalm 139:23

             You, my sister, are labeled. And it is a label of royalty. You, dear one, are a princess. A daughter who is deeply loved and cherished. God knows that there is more to you then just 'the poor one,' you are made rich in God's mercy. You are more then 'the sexy one,' God sees past your body and sees that there is a heart and mind. One that longs to be cherished and made known. There are layers and layers of things about you that you don't even know about yourself (Psalm 139:1-3)!  But God knows. You can rest easy and know, that certain thing does not define you. God is the one who defines who you are. Because of Jesus, you can break free of that mold, heal and live in peace.         

The Choices we make

                    Then the Lord said to Cain, "why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?..."

              Genesis 4:6

                    Killing, sickness, pain, confusion, anger, brokenness. Why does this all have to be apart of this world? If God is with us, why does he allow this all to continue to happen?!

                                                    Be my Lord

                " If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

                                                                                                                Genesis 4:7

                  Sin; its a horrible thing. It's a black, thick, inky sickness that latches onto your soul and fastens tight. We are so quick to blame God for things that go wrong in our lives or when were having a bad day. Could some of the bad things in our lives be prevented? Do we bring pain, grief and sadness onto ourselves?

                  Take Adam and Eve for example. They lived in a perfect world. God had one instruction for them. Not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Other then that life was great! Then that sly serpent came in and questioned Eve of what she believed.  She did not turn to Adam or God for help. She thought about what Satan said (which was a big mistake!).  And that brought us here. Sin is more deadly then we realize. A lot of the bad things that happen is from the choices that people made through sin. And the other part is from Satan. Yes God is  here in the world. He could end all this suffering here and now. But he had other plans. One of them was to let us have our free will. 

                God could have taken our free will after the first major mistake. But he didn't. He let us be able to make the choice of sin/Satan or God.  Now read carefully this excerpt from Randy Alcorn's The Purity Principle.

               Eric stormed into my office and flopped into a chair. "I'm  really mad at God."

               Having grown up in a strong church family, he'd met and married a Christian girl. Now he was a picture of misery.

               "Okay...so why are you mad at God?"

                "Because," he said, "last week I committed adultery." 

                  Long pause. Finally I said, "I can see why God would be mad at you. But why are You mad at God?

                 Eric explained that for several months he'd felt a strong, mutual attraction with a woman at the office. He'd prayed earnestly that God would keep him from immorality. 

                "Did you ask your wife to pray for you?" I said "Did you stay away from this woman?"

                "Well...no. We went out for lunch almost every day."

                  Slowly I started pushing a big book across my desk. Eric watched uncomprehending, as the book inched closer and closer to the edge. I prayed aloud, " O Lord, please keep this book from falling!" 

                  I kept pushing and praying. God didn't suspend the law of gravity. The book went right over the edge, smacking the floor.

                   "I'm mad at God," I said to Eric. "I asked Him to keep my book from falling...but He let me down!

                   Eric's life went down hill because of the choices he made. He could have prayed with his wife or went to God and truly asked God for help and actually took the time to listen and stay away from the woman.

                 Take cheer. Don't lose hope. What was in God's plan was to send his son down to sacrifice himself to save the world from sin and eternal death. Jesus is our salvation! We don't need to chose it and we don't have too. Now there will be times when our flesh; our old self will desire your old ways and there are times when you will fall. If you turn to God and repent your sins God will be faithful and just to forgive you of your sins and purify you from all unrighteousness! ( 1 John 1 :9)  

            And one day God will restore this world and us to wholeness. This world will be perfect again. In God's perfect timing. 

Flesh and Blood

                         
                         Where for forty days he was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days , and he was hungry.
                                          Luke 4:2

          He was so hungry. His stomach grumbled and pangs shot through his abdomen. The devil came up to him with an innocent look on his face that was clearly selfish.

            "If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread."

          Bread sounded so good at that moment but he knew that he would get bread soon enough and not in the wrong means. He replied in confidence and authority.

             "It is written: 'man does not live on bread alone.' "

             

                                                God in the flesh!  

                     "It is written," he said to them, "My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a 'den of robbers.'

                                           Matthew 21: 13

             Jesus was a man . He was human. He was also God.  

      

           One time when I was working in an after school program, I was visiting with the children in my class as they were eating a snack.  We somehow got on the subject of struggle and going through times when you need help. I told this girl who brought the whole matter up that Jesus was tempted so he understands. The girl then replied smartly that he was God. He didn't need help because he had all the power he needed. And how could God be tempted?!  That stumped me. I honestly had no clue how to reply to that. Yes, he was God...but there had to be more!

         Years have passed and that question lingered in the back of my mind. One day at church the pastor was talking about Jesus. He explained that he was fully man and fully God. He felt pain, had emotions and got hungry and tired. That surprised me, and it made sense. Jesus was angry at the people in the temple when his Fathers house was corrupted. He needed water from a woman at the well. He wept for the loss of a friend, he was hungry and was tempted by Satan. And he was even afraid. The thing is he did not do was sin. He was perfect! That's what boggles my mind. That's how he could save us because someone without defect (spiritually) could be worthy to save the world. He was the perfect sacrifice. 

       That's why Jesus was sent here by His wonderful Father. Because he was and is our only hope. 

        Sometimes I can't believe that God did that. It sounds like something from a fairy tale. It fills me with joy and excitement. The God of the universe became a humble human to save me! ME!! Whoa. 

Thank you, Lord, thank you so much.